To dating black women

During and after college, I have maintained a diverse group of friends and have had the good fortune to travel to various places in Asia including a two year stint in Korea and Taiwan, as well as less extensive periods in Hong Kong, Japan, and mainland China.

Moreover, I have dated both intra- and inter-racially (with Black women among others) and was most recently in a 3 year relationship with a Black American woman (who self-identified as such).

Either scenario could result in having to deal with the pressure to assimilate into mainstream American society (which is always synonymous with White in the US) or adhere to the cultural traditions of one’s sending country.

To dating black women

While it may seem as though White and Black Americans are positioned on antithetical ends of an idyllic racial spectrum, I would argue that in actuality it is Asians who are presented as the polar opposites of their Black counterparts (in many respects with Asians as hypo and Black Americans as hyper ).

For instance, as a whole Asians are seen as small, quiet, and unassertive (which in a Western context are coded as feminine), whereas Black people are presented as big, loud, and physically dominant/imposing (which in turn are coded as masculine).

My name is Tim and I recently saw a Youtube video you had posted wherein you interviewed Asian men and Black American women in NYC about their thoughts regarding interracial dating and marriage.

From there I found your other video to which I am responding.

I use this example not because I am trying to argue that Koreans or other Asians are in no way prejudiced all by themselves and that those biased ways of seeing things may impede an otherwise decent romantic relationship; rather, I am merely trying to illustrate a degree of complexity to this issue which I feel is oftentimes overlooked.

Although it can seem tempting to write Asian men off because they or their families may have racist notions about Black Americans, when we broaden our purview we see that the issue stretches far beyond that of the Asian (American) community.

First, I would just like to commend you for the outstanding work you have done and thank you for navigating these issues of race in the way that you do.

It is never easy to tackle since everyone’s feelings and opinions regarding their own background as well as the backgrounds of others oftentimes vary greatly; however, your honest engagement and down-to-earth personality make all the difference.

Thus, when we try to reconcile the obvious contradictions observed between not just the stereotypes associated with both groups but more importantly the MEANINGS ascribed to those stereotypes, it becomes clear that they are more or less illusory.

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