Ignoring someone – someone who is paying you a huge compliment, in fact – is just flat-out What the hell – was I raised in a barn, she’d ask?And yet, here I am, convinced beyond just about any doubt that what we’d call rudeness in our face to face dealings is a far kinder way of behaving in the online world.
It’s cleaner, it’s less awkward, and as counter-intuitive as it may seem, ignoring people spares their feelings.
It’s the ones who employ actual manners, as we learned them growing up, who make us feel the worst about ourselves.
I remember feeling obliged, when I got a message from a woman who didn’t interest me, to try and craft a nice reply that didn’t make her feel bad about herself. If there’s no contact, it’s harder to take it personally.
I also remember sending notes to women I found interesting and getting absolutely no reply at all. I may not even notice that whomever she was didn’t reply.
If you get approached by someone you don’t find attractive, for whatever reason, you simply hit delete and move on. I began adapting to these odd new cultural mores, for a couple of reasons.
Busy week, other things to focus on – sometimes I forget I sent a note at all.But when she writes back, when she makes eye contact, then the rejection becomes personal and I have to think about it.She has taken the time and is making the effort to look me in the eye and make sure I understand that she isn’t interested and to explain why. In nearly every way I can think of, this is upside-down, ass-backwards and inside-out from how I was brought up.Our exclusive interview with Anna Post, great-great-granddaughter of late etiquette guru Emily Post. Before becoming Facebook friends, you should have a conversation about your relationship and about whether it's okay to friend each other. And of course, never share other peoples' personal information online, whether it's private photos or something they've said to you in confidence.10. If you're still unsure about whether you're representing yourself well, whether it's in your social media or online dating profile, "take a look in the digital mirror," said Post.According to a new survey from Intel, nine out of 10 U. adults feel that others divulge too much information about themselves online, and 88 percent said they wish people "thought more about how others will perceive them when sharing information online." However, the same survey found that 33 percent of people are more comfortable sharing information online than off. You may play up different parts of your personality in different places, but make sure it all sounds like one person. When you first meet someone through an online dating website, you want to exchange a few emails before you meet them in person — say two to five. When getting to know each other in those first few emails, you want to give your best impression of yourself. "If you feel too awkward to talk about it, that's not a good sign," Post said.9. If you're going to put up any type of photo that implies you're in a relationship, you have to be 100 percent sure you're in a relationship. Have a friend look at your profile and ask: "Does it really sound like me?I see it, I recognize the truth in it, and the part of me who was raised to be a courteous Southern boy who respected the feelings of others is never going to be quite okay with the idea that “rudeness” is the nicest thing I can do for another person.